I loved her more than life itself…. But I could never tell her. Fate demanded that the truth would only hurt her. Fate demanded I die…. And die I knew I would.

                                                       Chapter 3


A cool breeze drifted by swaying the grass as Jed lay with his arms under his head staring at the clouds from beneath the shade of a tree, his thoughts drifting away with the wind. He closed his eyes letting the cool mountain air and the feel of the grass on his face be the only recognizable piece of his environment. He’d found himself here more often lately, thinking. School would end soon, a mere two weeks away. He wasn’t sure what to think of it. Even worse, he was scared of it. It meant the end of everything he knew and the beginning of the rest of his life. The problem was he had yet to come up with a beginning. Jed didn’t know what he wanted to do. Most teenagers his age had known years in the making. Some would follow in the family business, others, become entrepreneurs, and some would go off to find jobs or go to college. A small handful would even join the army and go off to fight in the war. Jed didn’t have any family, his parents having died in the war leaving him an orphan. Being of royal blood, a royal at the castle had found the kindness to adopt him although over the years they’d been a little less than a parent to him. The point was a family trade was out of the question. The castle staff had played more of a role in his parenting than anyone. He cared little for traditional work, at least on a large scale, so taking a job at the armory or some other trade didn’t quite fit him. He’d never been one for fighting either so he wouldn’t even dare consider the army, and besides that, Sylvia would kill him. Jed felt a smile at the thought of her scolding him over even suggesting the idea. He’d failed to fill out any applications of college as he’d never really taken that thought seriously, not that he’d go if he had. The fact was he was lost and thus irrevocably sure that he didn’t have the slightest idea what he wanted to do after graduation.

The sound of footsteps signaled the arrival of Sylvia. She was later than usual. He was about to sit up when a voice spoke. “Hey there Jedidia.” The smile faded a moment. He knew that voice and it wasn’t Sylvia.

“Hey Karen.” He replied without opening his eyes. Her footsteps stopped beside him. He guessed she was sitting down.

“Why are you sitting up here all by yourself?” she asked. He knew she was hinting at something.

“I’m aloud to spend time alone.” He retorted.

Her voice turned soft. “I wasn’t implying anything.” He opened his eyes to see her looking down at him. She was smiling.

“Yes you were.” He replied with a grin.

“Yeah, I guess I was.” She chuckled. “So, seriously though, why are you way up here by yourself? I thought you two were like a couple now or something.” She was probing. Jed wasn’t in the mood.

“Just because Sylvia and I are going to the ball together doesn’t mean we’re a couple. We’re close, that’s all.” He knew she didn’t believe it. He himself didn’t so why should everyone else.

“Okay Mr. Denial, whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jed looked up to see her with her legs held up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Sunlight leaked down through the trees in glimmering dots and speckles across her. Her light, amber colored eyes glowed as the light danced across them. Her black, glossy hair was brushed and hung down in waves, the light cascading down it in ripples. Karen was just as beautiful as Sylvia Jed had always thought, if in a very different way. Her lips and nose were slightly bigger and her cheeks had a rosy color to them. She had a sterner jaw than Sylvia to but to Jed her defining feature was her closed lip smile. It had a gentleness to it that was in a way similar to Sylvia’s although at the same time nothing alike. Sylvia was also small, having a thin but well rounded curved body with a just less than medium bust. Karen however, was more womanly with curves but muscled ones, and Jed had made a point to avoid looking at her more obvious areas but just as any guy he had still noticed the difference in size between their chests. Her smile came back as he looked at her. He smiled in response. It was true that Sylvia was his closest friend but Jed was close to Karen too. He’d often wondered that if things had been different if it could have been Karen in Sylvia’s place, despite the entire difference in not just their appearances but attitudes. Sylvia was giddy and cheerful, her smile never fading. She retained a certain childish nature to her that seemed too had never faded as she grew up but had rather just taken on a mature standing to it. Karen on the other hand was serious and thoughtful, the kind of woman that became someone important, the confident kind that could handle responsibility if faced with it. Where Sylvia was a daisy, soft and beautiful, Karen was a rose, strong and beautiful but with sharp thorns that could leave their mark on anything that tested them.

“Yeah, well, maybe I am in denial.” Karen just stared at him. She was taken off guard, something that didn’t happen often. Jed just continued to stare at the clouds.

“I ...” she started before stopping. “It was a joke you know?” she half questioned, half stated. Karen stood up. “Look, I just wanted to see how you were doing. You haven’t been yourself lately Jed. I mean... Well, you didn’t even greet me in class this morning. I guess what I’m trying to say is if you need someone to talk to, besides Sylvia, then I’m here for you. I know that the person closest to you can sometimes be the hardest to talk to so I’d be willing to help.” Karen turned away for a moment and then looked back one last time before walking off. It pained Jed to see her walk off like that. He knew it pained her more.

Jed didn’t move. The clouds had his undivided attention now, at least until another hour passed and the sun got far enough past the tree that it became bothersome to his nap. Another cool breeze blew the grass across his face. Birds chirped in the distance. Some flew through the sky, not nearly as high as the clouds but far enough away they were barely more than small black dots against the expanse of blue and white. He smiled at the peacefulness of the situation. This was why he loved it so much up here, this was why he was here. The world wasn’t so busy, so chaotic. Life had found a way to just exist simply as it was. Jed watched the clouds drift by one after the other, each taking a different shape from the one before it. And in that moment he wished he were like those clouds, free to go wherever the wind takes them. But that’s all that was, just a wish, and so he retired to his nap.

* * *

“Pay attention boy!” he shouted. Jed looked up. He’d drifted off again. “Did you catch anything I just said?” he questioned sternly. Jed hadn’t and nodded in response. With a sigh he went back to explaining. “Alright, pay attention this time. I need these logs,” he pointed to a stack, “over there.” Jed followed his pointing to a large log rack in the corner. “After you’re done with that take all these weapons hanging on the walls and lay them out on this table here.” Jed surveyed the walls. They were cluttered; he knew it would take him at least a few hours to lay them out. “Keep them separated by weapon class. Spears go with spears, swords with swords, and be sure to keep each different kind of sword with their own group. That goes the same for all the weapons. If you’re not sure about some weapons just set all those to one side and I’ll come by later and tell you where to put them. Now, once you’ve organized the weapons and moved all the logs I need you go outside and feed the horses in pen four. You’ll find the number marked on the gate. I need to go see Sergeant Wallace so when you’ve finished come see me at the command post for your pay.” Jed watched the man leave, aware that he hadn’t even gotten the guy’s name and turned to the logs.

“Nice one Jed, look at the mess you’ve gotten yourself into.” He said to himself as he started toting logs from one end of the room to the rack on the other side. “I can’t believe I’m working to pay for a tuxedo to go to a ball I’m only going to attend once. I guess you really worked one over on me this time, didn’t you Sylvia? Why did I have to say yes?” he mumbled to himself as he went about the work. He knew the answer. The work wasn’t really bothered him. He enjoyed it in fact but he was annoyed today and what else was there to complain about if not the ball. It wasn’t hard work and so it went by rather fast. The logs were awkward and dirty and caused him to work up a sweat but were relatively easy to carry otherwise. After a while Jed pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the table considering it wouldn’t be so wise to ruin it and there wasn’t much point to wearing it during work. He worked quickly, wanting to get out rather quickly, but it wasn’t the logs that would be the long part. The weapons on the walls would take him hours. Jed cringed at the thought. He was down to three logs when he heard the door open behind him. Realizing it was probably the man coming back to check up on his work he finished carrying the log he had in tow to the rack and turned to see what he wanted.

“Well, aren’t you a sight.” A grinning girl said watching him from the doorway. She was smiling rather wide. He was beginning to wish he hadn’t taken his shirt off.
“Hello again, Karen. Something I can help you with?”

“No, I just got a bit tired of Sylvia hounding me to help her find you.  So I thought I’d actually find you and settle the whole problem.” She replied nonchalantly. “Well, actually I just needed to get away. I didn’t actually expect to find you here to be honest, just a stroke of luck really.”

“Are you going to tell her where I’m at now?” He asked. Jed hadn’t told Sylvia because he didn’t want her to know. She’d insist on paying for his tux if she knew he didn’t have money. Royal blood or not, he had no family heirlooms or money. It was something that had always occurred odd to him but no matter what or who he seemed to ask he could find no information on his family’s past fortune. He’d never cared much. Money made people lazy and in his experience conceded, and that was an idiosyncrasy he had no interest in sharing.

“Actually, no I’m not. My guess is this isn’t a side of yourself you want Sylvia to see, not yet at least.” The tone of her voice was hinting at something again. “What are you doing here though? A Royal shouldn’t be toting logs.” Her question was genuine curiosity but Jed considered answering anyway. Karen wasn’t a Royal; this was something she would understand.

“I don’t have any money, never have.” He didn’t wait for answer but instead picked up the next log and headed for the rack.

“But you’re a Royal. All the royals have money.” She stated confused.

“Yeah, well, I’m also an orphan. The couple who adopted me covers my living expenses and all but anything else I have to earn on my own. Lewin, that’s my dad so to speak by the way, says it build character. So, I’m earning my tux.” Jed didn’t stop moving the logs as Karen sat down on barrel to the side taking it in.

“I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” She seemed stunned. The apparent shock stopped Jed and he turned and looked at her.

“Hey, don’t take it so seriously. It’s fine, really. I don’t talk about it and most people just believe the Lewins are my real folks so those no way you could have. Truth is, it’s never really bothered me. I like the work; it helps clear your mind. I’m sure Lewin would pay for my tux if I had asked but I didn’t even bother asking because I like the work. It seems strange to others, a Royal doing commoner work but it gives me something to do and some time to think.” Jed set the last log down in the rack and looked back at Karen for a minute. She seemed to be in a trance. It puzzled him but he had a lot of work to do so he just left her be and started to pull weapons from the wall and laying them out on the table. It was easy work but the walls were lined with weapons and the more he seemed to take down the more he started to get confused as to which weapons should go where. He was holding a curved sword trying to determine where to put it when Karen finally spoke.

“It’s a rapier.” She half said, half whispered. “You’d put that here.” She reached out and took the weapon from his hand setting it by the scimitar. “The rapier and scimitar aren’t completely similar but you should still keep the curved swords together. And these should be over here with the short swords.” She announced as she reached for three short bladed knives he had with the daggers. “They’re kukris and although they are small like daggers I find they work better if you use them as short swords; and that there is a broad sword, not a long sword.” She said gesturing to another blade. Suddenly Karen seemed alive. She reached around grabbing blade after blade sliding them around to different places giving him tips and instructions as to why each blade should go where.

“How do you know all of this?” he finally asked. She stopped dead in her tracks, her hand still on the blade she was reaching to grab.

“My dad was a soldier.” He immediately recognized the sound in her voice.

“I’m sorry.” He offered but doubted it would make little difference. “How long ago was it?” he dared to ask.

“About seven years. He was a squad leader. They’d found out about a supply depot nearby and his squad was assigned to recon.” Karen’s voice started to break. “They were betrayed by a fellow soldier and walked right into a trap. My father’s squad didn’t give the enemy the option of hostages.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “All but one died a soldier’s death. The young private only survived because my father took a blade to save him. The boy was only sixteen.” Karen stared at the weapons for minutes and neither of them moved. “But that’s in the past. I can’t change what happened.” She resumed sorting the blades in silence. Jed helped but neither said anything.

Karen helping had saved him hours of work. The man had showed up just as they finished the blades. Despite Jed’s insistence to stay Karen had left just before he’d arrived to keep him out of trouble. The man, a stocky slightly overweight fellow surveyed the room intently. “This is some mighty impressive work boy. That was a lot of work. I’m not sure I could have finished this much this fast. I’ll tell you what. You just head home. I’ll feed the horses myself.” The man reached into his back pocket and pulled out several copper coins. “Here you are, as promised. I even threw in an extra. Get yourself something nice. What was your name boy? I’ll see if I can send some more work your way.”

Jed stared blank for a minute at the handful of coppers the man held out to him. Finally, he reached out and took the coins. “I’m Jedidia Lewin sir.” He said as best he could muster.

“You Lewin’s boy? Good man Lewin, I see he raised you well. I’ll be sure to tell him the good work you did here today the next time I see him. Knowing Lewin he’ll be mighty proud of you. I’m Harold. You be sure to let him know I said hello, alright?” The man patted Jed on the shoulder and head off out the doors to the horse pen. Jed stared at the copper coins. Nine coppers wasn’t bad. It was quite a bit of money, even to a royal like himself. He’d never spent much money before but usually because he’d never earned much at one time, a copper here or two or three there but never nine. He felt a bit of guilt grip him. He hadn’t earned all of this of course. Karen was entitled to at least half. She’d done just as much work as he was concerned and she’d saved him hours on top of that. Sliding his shirt on Jed headed out the doors and down the path hoping to catch Karen before she got to much farther down the path toward town. At a full sprint it didn’t take long to find her walking down the path.

“Karen!” he shouted as he started to get close. She turned to see him and a light smile crossed her lips. It was the same smile Sylvia gave him. A smile he hadn’t understood until just the night before. “Here.” He said holding out five coins to her as he caught up.

“I can’t take that.” She objected.

“Yes you can and you will. Without you I’d have been up there until dark. And besides, you earned it so why are you complaining. Just take the money.” Karen just stared as he glared at her. Finally, she reached out and took the five coins.

“Thank you Jed. Not many people would have done that.” She stared at the ground. Something in her voice told him she’d known all along he was going to do it before he’d shown up anyway.

“You deserved it. There’s no thank you needed. Not many people would take the time out of there day to help someone else. Besides, that’s what friends do.” He smiled and found himself suddenly feeling rather cocky. He guessed it was because of how soft Karen suddenly seemed. Karen walked for a few minutes beside him silent. She was thinking about something serious he knew. Something he truly admired about her. Sylvia was never like that. They walked until they rounded the top of the hill to see town just a few hundred feet away. The road split in a fork and they followed the right path down through the grassy field. Jed admired the clouds enjoying the silence. When they reached the edge of the nearest buildings Karen finally looked up from her trance.

“Thanks Jed, for listening.” Before he could respond she turned and walked away through the buildings. He watched her go in silence before he turned back toward the market. He looked down at the copper coins in his hand.

“I guess it’s time to go get a tux.” He said in finality and headed off into the buildings.